Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Father's Rights

In a society where women are the primary custodial parent of the children , we as the mother's of the children should try to do everything that is possible to encourage communication between the fathers and their children. Unless there is a direct threat to the safety of the child , it would be the best interest of the child to get to know his father.
Under family law because the mothers are the custodial parent, the father's have to pay huge financial support. This would be great if the father had equal rights to the child. This is not the case. Most father's who have visitation are still at the beck and call of the mothers. Some mothers will not even honor the visitation rights of the father. There are fathers who have spent a lot of money for lawyers to fight the system.
Father's rights is a movement which started in the 1970's. Men were being punished by the system because of divorce, unwed parenthood, and gender bias.The movement was started due to unfair practices of the courts. Men are now in the position due to the movement to become active roles in their children's lives. They are taking on shared parenting and even sole custody instead of just child support being paid.

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

In a perfect world

In a perfect world we would all like to give our children the best that can be offered but, when is your best not the best. While watching the Maury show yesterday about paternity, I decided I would write something in defense of the fathers. More times than not some of these mothers find themselves in these types of predicaments due to revenge. Some of these women know that they are dating notorious cheaters who cheated on them numerous times. To make matters worst, instead of dumping these guys and moving on these women decide to cheat back and they wind up pregnant. This situation causes guilt and now the women feel they have to confess.
The other scenario is the women who sleep with more than one guy at a time and do not know who the baby's father is. Case in point, the women who named 12 men as the father. Why get mad at the man who states the child is not his when you no good and well that you do not even know who the father is!!I think that when you find yourself in this position the best interest of the child would be for you to acknowledge your responsibility in this situation, support your child the best way you can, and heal yourself first before trying to find out who the child belong to. This way you do not falsely accuse a man you know may not be the daddy. (the audience is so treacherous to the man in question)


Sunday, September 24, 2006

Mr. Mom

A friend of mine have 2 children by 2 different women. Both times he was in a long term relationship with these women. He ruined his credit by buying co-ops and furnishings for each of these women. When he broke up with the mothers they refused to allow him to see the children. He took the mothers to court and got visitation rights. They sued for support and because he makes a really nice living he pays a substantial amount of child support.
In order to see his children even though he has visitation, He has to take the children to school and pick them up. He has to help with homework, cook dinner, do hair and give the children baths everyday before he takes the kids home to their mothers. He also has to pick them up on the weekends and provide everything that the children need. The mothers go on vacation and he also has to take the kids if he wants to keep seeing them. These mothers both work and they both get home in time to do the things he is doing for the children. If he decides he is not going to put up with the behavior of the mothers they will not allow him to see the children even with visitation rights and support.

Raw Deal Or What ?

My brother had 2 children outside of his relationship. This would have been a bad thing if his wife wasn't so understanding. He would do everything he could to appease his children's mothers. He would pick the two boys up whenever their mothers' wanted him to. He would keep the children for weeks at a time in order for the mothers could on vacations. He would do whatever was needed to spend time with his children. My brother found himself in a mishap which resulted in him being incarcerated. He was sentenced to 3 years in jail. The mothers of the children were angry because he was locked up that they would not allow my family to see the children. One mother took her child to another state and we haven't seen him since. That was 10 years ago and my brother has lost contact with the child. The other mother refuses to allow my brother to see her child without going to court. He filed for visitation in March and have not seen the child for 6 months. My brother is presently unemployed due to having to take off to go to court with his child's mother. The mother says if he is not paying child support she will not allow him to see his child even though they went to court and he has visitation rights.

Daddy or Sperm Donor?

Why are fathers always considered the bad guy when it comes to relationships gone badly? As a woman and mother I have always felt that fathers get raw deals . My mom and dad divorced when I was three years old. I can't say I even remember daddy ever living with us. I also remember hearing mommy say that daddy was the cause of their relationship breaking up. I always wondered why she said that. She never gave me an explanation and as a result I grew up feeling like men were the cause of relationship problems.
My dad would pick my sister,brother, and I up every weekend and take us out. We went to the movies, rollerskating in Central Park, and anything we felt like doing. I enjoyed the time I spent with my daddy. I could call my dad at anytime of the night and he would listen to whatever problems I had. He did not have a whole lot of money, but the times we spent together was better than any amount of money to me.
My mother would be upset when we came home from visiting daddy because we would be speaking about the fun times we had. She would tell us that we never get excited when she does thing with us. She would state that our dad was a sperm donor who screwed up their relationship. Was daddy really just a sperm donor?
As I sit here writing this blog I think about my daddy. I think my daddy is more than a sperm donor. He is a kind and loving man who just could not make it work with my mom. I will always love him and I will always think of him as a Daddy.